Guitar Hero

Emil is talking at some great length about how great his band is or how cute or how like something else i don't catch the name of I'm punching myself in the side of the head mentally so i don't zone out and can keep making little affirmative noises "mm hmm" and keep my eyes at least partially there. I find my broken tooth with my tongue push hard then kind of clamp down with my top teeth. it's hard to explain but it feels very intense and makes me jolt, like i just got cattle prodded.

I would really like to leave now but K is sending me this meaningful glance and tapping the place on his wrist where a watch would be if he ever wore a watch.

personally i can't see why the juxtaposition would be that great or interesting.

"he looks just like your guitar hero avatar" slurred in my ear ten minutes before.

"he DOES NOT" i reply, probably the most forceful thing i've ever said to him and shiver a little in sweet anticipation of some retribution that unfortunately doesn't happen. My guitar hero avatar is called KITTEN he has the same trousers as me but the resemblance pretty much ends there - physically i am about as close to being in love with him as i have ever been to anybody, psychically i realise this is a bit fucked up.

the steps between 'listening' to Emil here and getting him to come back to the hotel to play the role of KITTEN in whatever scenario K has planned for that afternoon seem over complicated and boring.

I yawn and swallow a little of the blood from my tooth.
I wonder half-heartedly if I win out in the end?