What Katy Did at School

I am writing an essay about the Medieval Agricultural Revolution. I am quite bored/high.

About midway through I insert a paragraph describing – in fairly graphic and intense detail – how I have just castrated myself. I am inspired by a similar occurrence in Susan Coolidge’s novel of 1873 “What Katy Did at School”.

I presume nobody will notice.

This presumption is incorrect.

I am having a compulsory ‘chat’. I say: “it was a joke” I make a noise; it’s supposed to sound like a laugh

“Ha- ha”

It doesn’t sound right.

“It’s not very funny” he says. He is finding it very difficult to look at me.
“So it’s not a – uh – cry for help?”

He sounds kind of hopeful. I want to say “I didn’t know the university provided help with that sort of thing” But it seems unnecessarily glib.

He shoots a surreptitious and concerned glance at my crotch as I leave.

The mark I receive for this essay is slightly higher than usual.