Thursday 30 September 2010

Spilt

In the dream we are making tea

We are trying to make tea, I mean, but the pots are all inadequate. They melt, or move,or crumple or something. You're covering your face with your hands and I have a lot of tea pooling in the t-shirt hammock between my thighs. I am kneeling like a Geisha .

You've given up, I think.

I wake myself up because I'm worried the spilt tea means I've pissed in your bed and I don't know you that well.

Lying face down between you and your lover, the bed beneath me seems dry enough. This is pretty good.

05.03

Something we did last night prised open the insect-leg stitches that walk from behind your ear to your adam's apple, smeared blood on your pillow and stained your hair. I lift your lover's hand and place it carefully on my ass.

12 comments:

  1. Oh man, I LOVE this.
    (Just popped over from Mr. Cooper's blog after reading your piece on the Gazelle boy, and meant to browse around your blog, but I read this and had such a bloody visceral reaction in my gut, that I had to comment right away.)
    Is this in some context I am missing? The idea of realizing IN a dream that dreaming of spilt tea might mean you pissed the bed. Being afraid of having wet the bed at an age when you are in bed with others. Is the narrator still a child, is the "you" his/her mother? Is the narrator an adult and this is a strange threesome? The image of the stitched wound. When (s)he took the hand I first thought (s)he would put it on the wound (the wound itself... wtf happened?) but puts it on his/her bum instead. The Geisha. You've given up. 05.03. It's, oh God, the melange of images and ideas and emotions all this wakes. And every word sits perfectly. Brilliant, bloody brilliant. Makes the writer in my shiver with envy.
    (Please excuse my questions. I don't mean that you should answer them - though if you HAVE answers, I do really wonder all that stuff - but it's just what goes through my head when I read it.)

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  3. hey fuckling. the tea pooling in the hammock or your t shirt=peeing the bed haha so good.
    the whole is really fucking mysterious. i have no idea what the fuck you are talking about but i wanna read more cuz u r that masterful of a writer at seducing me in. and as always its really romantic and sensual.

    u know if I were in that bed with the three of you and your having this dream, i would put your hand in a cup of warm water. then you would pee for sure.
    or maybe i would put whipping cream in your hand and tickle your nose with my tongue.
    i miss you too. i was in vermont forever. now im home. everything sucks.
    love you,
    gabriel

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  4. gabriel
    i can't pee but i can sneeze.

    yeh everything sucks.

    a lot.

    but i'm glad you're back

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  5. freefox - i have a lot of weird sleep shit like very lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis, other stuff

    - not trying to be oblique

    i'm in a dream often and i think: shit, I should wake up, this is a really bad sign. something like that.

    a crotch swimming in warm liquid is maybe the universal sign for urine

    in my head the narrator is not a child and "you" is not it's mother.
    my friend, his lover and i was just supposed to sleep there, probably
    i don't know.
    your answers seem better than mine

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  6. Really, you have lucid dreams? I can't imagine what that feels like. In my dreams, I believe everything. It's all just totally real and no doubt about it. Even when I, like, die in it. Which happens on occasion.

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  7. no i guess i'm not. thank you x

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  8. ff - yeh i do. mostly it feels like i justsat down wth popcorn to watch a movie and someone reaches out and drags me in there and makes me rewrite the whole fucking script. sometimes it feels like god though? fsshw - i can't believe i just typed that.

    i don't think i ever died - i would like to

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  9. I would ask you what ails you, but I don't think I know you well enough for something that intimate yet. (Ah, that sort of thinking cost Perceval the grail, I know...) I wish I could do that God-thing you do. It would be like having a bloody holodeck. Too cool for words! My dreams aren't anywhere as bad as they were 2 years ago, when I was too bloody scared to go to sleep, but they still are mostly very bad. Hey, can one learn to do that?

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