yesterday

everything is static and sticky for a really long time

look out of the window, call the bird watch service on the telephone and am soothed by this more than almost anything

him: can you imitate it's call?
me: nuh -uh

with a rush of blood to my face so hard i have to hold the receiver at arms length for some seconds

"i can't see the tv" makes some impatient movement with her hand smiled and; "stop phone-sexing the twitchers"

3 green mystery pills on the edge of the sink in the bathroom, swallow them before i even notice
3 fingers in my throat and retch plenty but they don't come out.

what were they? i write on the mirror. already written there: I'VE GOT YOURS USE MINE IF YOU WANT in an unfamiliar hand

buying plasters and oranges with my thumb on my pulse everything rushes a little when i smoke a cigarette on the street but only a little, regular and even

boy from 66 on the wall cat and orange trousers like some half detainee. smoking and damp too, mumble something to him about a party at our house, say "sort of" a lot and shuffle like i'm shifty or 12 maybe, makes me laugh i think

later in the hallway he says: do you guys want some kittens?
my hand inside his trousers at some unnatural angle painful and boring
he's not that interested